Adulting Adults

07 November 2025

By Miss. Miko Stewart aka Mama Miko

Commentary: Communication with our adult children

Picture Source: Miko Stewart (Miko pictured with two of her sons.) To have the article read to you, click the link: https://www.naturalreaders.com/online/?s=V32215a5c128aa498ba4771e224c25c25f.txt&t=Shared%20Text%20File%202025-11-08T01%3A49%3A37.615Z

Monmouth County, NJ - Most parents just want their kids to have a safe and happy childhood. We pour so much into those first years — making sure they're fed, loved, and cared for. But then, when graduation comes — high school or college — a lot of parents see that as the end of their parenting job. The truth is, that "empty nest" period isn't the end. I t's a new chapter — and honestly, it’s one of the most important ones. This is when the relationship shifts from raising children to connecting with adults.

 Honoring The Wisdom Of Black Women, The Echo Presents A Conversation With Mother Sister Miko Stewart 

But that's where a lot of us struggle. Some parents can't quite let go. They still try to direct every choice, give constant advice, or criticize the way their kids live — their partner, their job, their lifestyle. I hear it all the time: "They're not ready. They don't know how to live on their own. They're making bad decisions." And I can't help but ask — were you not a good parent? You had 18 years to prepare that child for life. If they're learning and stumbling now, maybe that's part of the process, not a sign of failure.

The problem is, we keep seeing our grown children as kids, not adults. But the truth is — they are adults now. And maybe our focus should shift. Instead of just raising a child to get a good career, maybe we should raise them to have a good character. Because jobs come and go, but a sound mind and strong values last forever.

Picture Source  Art Institute of Chicago (Unsplash)

So, let's talk about what it really means to be parents to adults!

It means moving from control to connection. From telling to trusting. It means offering wisdom when asked, but stepping back when they need space to figure it out. It's not easy — especially when you've spent years protecting them. But love doesn't always mean stepping in; sometimes love means standing back. Let them fall a little. Let them rise on their own. Be proud of who they're becoming, not just who they were.

Because the real sign of good parenting isn't how much your child still needs you — it's how well they live without you, while still wanting you in their life. Parenting doesn't end when your child grows up — it evolves. It becomes less about raising them and more about relating to them. Less about control, and more about connection. That's what it really means to be a parent to an adult.

*Mama Miko 2025* 😉

Rest in Peace and Love, Mama Kazuko, Moore

Sunrise: February 5, 1927, Sunset August 11, 2025